Deon Wigget: How to spot a child predator
In late 2019, Deon Wiggett’s sensational podcast series rocked South Africa as he shared his trauma and revealed the identity of the man who raped him as a schoolboy.
Wiggett is a full-time writer, but also works as an activist who helps men heal by bringing their rapists to justice.
As he struggled to find and expose his abuser, he devised a template that anyone can use to identify the pedophiles among them.
“It’s good to pretend that men don’t rape children, but once you know what to look for, it becomes surprisingly easy to spot them. Once you match a universal model with a specific male’s profile, what was once hidden becomes evident. ” he says.
Parent24 spoke to Wigget to learn some of his tips that parents and teachers can use at home and in the classroom, to protect their children from potential predators.
Here is what we learned:
What should parents or teachers watch out for?
First, it’s important to remember that men who want to have sex with children keep thinking about ways to get closer to children. Whenever someone approaches your children, don’t assume that they are probably trustworthy.
Our default stance should be extreme vigilance. Pedophiles are not like us.
If someone is a sports coach, teacher, scout leader, or whatever, we need to look at what that adult gets from being around children. Always question their motives. Watch their behavior.
Be aware of the stages of sexual grooming – this is a role model and something that all pedophiles do to transform themselves into a child’s hero. Children need heroes, but we have to be extra vigilant when someone is actively trying to become a child’s hero – giving the child gifts, showering them with affirmation, taking them out on their own, whatever. kind of stuff.
This is not normal.
In the process, they also prepare the parents to trust the person with their child.
What should children watch out for?
Children should be taught to be wary of any adult who is suddenly or above the ordinary interested in them. They need to be taught that if an adult begins to develop a 1-on-1 relationship, they should talk to their parents.
In addition, children should be aware that they should be very careful not to be brought in to share seemingly innocent secrets with an adult. This is so often the trap.
As soon as you hear “you shouldn’t tell your parents about this”, it should be a wake-up call.
There is no substitute for kind advice and support from parents or guardians. They should not allow children to develop inappropriate relationships with other adults.
When is a red flag more than just a flag, and how trustworthy is this “feeling of instinct”?
Always listen to your instincts. We are taught not to do it, but your gut is always right.
Our bodies and brains pick up on things that our conscious mind deems irrational or unreasonable.
If someone gives you goosebumps, keep your kids away. You don’t need a reason not to want a certain adult next to your child.
What action should a parent or teacher take to protect their children?
There is a sharp lack of interest in sexual abuse on the part of the Council of Educators of the SA. And schools are not looking enough for potential teachers.
Why did they leave their old school? What about school before? It is important.
Our regulations and laws need to be stricter to protect children.
In New Zealand, for example, it is illegal for any adult guardian to be alone with someone else’s child. We need stronger protection like this.
It’s a matter of policy – we don’t need the money to make it happen.
What if the suspect is a close family member or a trusted adult?
It is a crime not to report sexual offenses against children to the police. If it later turns out that you did know, you are an accomplice. You could go to jail for not reporting this.
Pedophiles do not deserve protection; children do.
If you suspect someone of being a pedophile, first make sure your children are away from them, then take a look at other children around them.
It is not enough to ensure the safety of our own children; we need to keep everyone’s children safe. It takes a village to keep children safe.
We have to talk, or these men will continue until the day they die. Pedophilia is a permanent constraint.
My only story
Deon Wiggett’s first book “My Only Story” is now available in stores and online, and contains more useful information such as how to identify pedophiles, how to spot signs of grooming and more.
Share your stories and questions with us via email at [email protected] Anonymous contributions are welcome.
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